That sentence surprises people.
Grateful?
Yes. Grateful.
Not because hospital stays are easy.
Not because the fear disappears.
Not because I would ever minimize the hard.
Not because the fear disappears.
Not because I would ever minimize the hard.
But because of what this life has given me. Having a medically complex baby has slowed me down in a world that glorifies busy. It has forced me to notice things most people rush past —
I celebrate things I never would have noticed before.
The way her fingers wrap around mine 
The way she studies the world so carefully Holding her a little longer instead of putting her down The way she studies the world so carefully Gratitude lives in those moments.
This journey has refined me. The laundry can wait. The emails can wait. Even the opinions of others can wait.
But this child?
This life?
This miracle in front of me?
This life?
This miracle in front of me?
That CAN NOT (and will not ever have to) WAIT
My baby has taught me courage without ever trying to. She has taught me resilience before she could even speak. She has shown me that strength doesn’t always look loud — sometimes it looks like a tiny body fighting battles most people never see.
Because of her,
I am softer. I am braver. I pray differently. I love deeper.I don’t take ordinary days for granted anymore.
And while I would never wish medical complexity on any child, I can say this with my whole heart:
I am grateful for the perspective. I am grateful for the growth. I am grateful for the way this journey has shaped our family. Most of all, I am grateful that I get to be her mom. Not in spite of her complexity.
But alongside it.